Affectionatley known as Ms. Vixen (or Diva on occasion!) by my friends, my real name is Rose! And yes,. I am a real person dealing with a very real chronic pain disorder... Fibromyalgia. I spent a little over two years trying to find out why I was in constant pain. The more I went to the doctor the more frustrated I became. I heard everything, from the very gentle " I am sorry Ms. Christopher, but the test results don't show anything wrong. Let me recommend you to this specialist," to the very harsh, " There is nothing wrong, it's all in your head. You're just under a lot of stress." I knew it was real. So I tracked my symptoms, researched on line and got a general idea of what it could be. I figured it could be FMS. So I started asking around. Not for doctors, but for 'others'. Others who felt like me.
My best friend Sara Minor was the first one I encounterd. And then Cindy when I changed jobs. I gathered all sorts of infomation and then I was fianally reffered to a doctor that not only cared about my symptoms but understood my frustration because she suffers from Rhemutoid arthritis. She confirmed that I did infact have FMS by doing the usual "let's rule these out" tests. She even recommended me to Phsyciatric counseling. Which has been the best medicine she could have ever prescribed.
You see my father is a minister and has been since I was 8. Now at age 27, I have 2 assocites degrees, an 11 year carrer in retail management, a place and a car of my own, I couldn't understand why. Why this was happening to me and why now. I had the job I wanted, I was happy.....I was.... okay, I will say it... in all honesty.... I was a christian who now felt hopeless. I felt betrayed, bewildered.
My parents are the best parents in the world. They always listen to me and have always been there for me. My friends are awesome and I have so many 'adopted parents' that I have to use my toes to count them all, but yet I needed someone else to talk to someone else. Someone on the outside looking in who wasn't concerned with my accomplishments or degrees. Someone who had no clue about who I used to be or who I am presently. I needed simply another christain to fellowship with. that good Samaritain who happend along and helped me out who could reaffirm that I wasn't being punished! God wasn't angry with me. My Fibro could be something that God could use to make me stronger. I go regularly and I have learned so much more about Gods love for me. I am his chlld. By being His 'child' I am still learning and growing. The sessions are turning out to be great medicine.
Of course it hasn't taken away the pain, but it has been a great outlet. Something to look forward to. Talking to someone about the goodness of God in situations relevant to me and my life has helped me work through my condition a lot better. Hopefully, this site will be a source of inspiration to you. A light peeking in through the darkness of pain and discomfort. I look forward to saying it everyday so I am going to say this to you. God is not angry at you!! He is not punishing you and He loves you more than you could ever know. This experience is going to bring you closer to him in so many ways.... if you let it!! I may not be able to hear all of you, but I can pray for all of you. After all from Gods salvation to his presious comfort...indeed the best things in life are free. All we need is His word.
God Bless